Assalaamualaikum Wa Rahmtullahi Wa Barakatuh,
My beloved sisters <3 It has been so long! I am dearly sorry for the delayed post! To be truthful with you, me and my whole family have been concentrating on my mum. In my previous post I mentioned she was ill, so we have been visiting her in hospital :)
Anyway, I decided I would post about teenage marriages! From some feedback, I have discovered it is a topic of interest. Which luckily I am informed about! During my college year, I discovered the 'marriage phase' where teenagers who are practicing fall into the trap of halal marriage. Or 'Dating Marriage' Alhamdulilah, sisters marriage is good! In no way am I discouraging you not to marry! BUT I am enocouraging you to THINK about the word marriage. What does it entail?
-Looking after in-laws (mostly cultural)
-No longer being treated like a baby by your mummy
And many more! Marriage is good. The other aspects of marriage aren't BAD, its just takes maturity and understanding, which if not considered can lead to failures in marriage. It is half of your deen, do you think getting half of your deen is going to be breeze?There are sunny days + rainy days. Not every day will be a Disney movie! I understand sisters, you want to do it the right way but rushing it CERTAINLY is not the right way! If you find a potential guy at a younge age say 17-19 consider it as a maybe, NOT DEFO. Find out what you need, and ASAP tell your parents. The problem is nowadays, teens get stuck into the gritty stuff of getting to know the person way too much, BEFORE telling the parents, which often is a big problem! Wanna know why? Because parents dont always agree with teenagers! No suprise! We as teenagers, sometimes get caught in the clouds, thats why our parents ARE there to knock us out of them. We need mahrams there for it to be halal! You getting to know the guy half way, then telling your parents isn't exactly halal. Talking on the phone, unnecessary texting is not permitted in Islam! Yeah, with a mahram it is fine! And perhaps minimal conversation about something URGENT is also fine. But sisters, ask yourself this if you are caught in a sticky situation,
- Would I let my parents see this conversation?
-Would Allah be happy with me, for doing this?
- Is this uneccessary, i.e could I do this another time (INFRONT OF A MAHRAM!)
Moving on to the 'crazy phase'. Sisters, sometimes forget that marriage isn't LIFE or DEATH. Allah is the best of planners! Calm down! Sometimes we do get lonely, but who is with us? EVERYWHERE? and Anywhere? ALLAH! Concentrate on your deen, sister! It is far better for you, if Allah has willed! All in good time, if you meet your spouse tomorrow Alhamdulilah! If not, doesn't matter carry on! Be strong and emerse yourself into Islam. Sister, only there can you can find rest in your heart. The quote Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest(13:28)
Really does come into mind. The last phase is 'Proposal Phase'. Where teenagers get kinda OB about any guy, that could PERHAPS propose to them. Waiting for that guy to come up to their brother and inform them that they are interested in their sister.. Ahh, funny isn't it? But its like a fairy tale wish, only halal version. Sisters don't worry! Whoever is gonna propose..or ...approach you.... will!
IN..ALL...GOOD...TIME! Dont get into the whole, whoever proposes-should-instantly-be-accepted! I understand it is not right to reject anyone for no reason. But you should consider it! Don't rush, tell your parents then see if they are right for you! It is flattering, but marriage is serious! Don't treat it like it is nothing!
Calm, peace, never worry! Three words, about marriage -STICK with you for life! Sisters <3 love, for all of you! But sometimes we get a lil crazy, dont we?
InshaAllah this was useful! And kinda humorous! It is what I have witnessed at college! And please, my dear sisters, do not take offence! Try and stay calm, be happy! Never lose faith inshaAllah! Wait for your bearded prince, and inshaAllah you may all live in the kingdoms of Jannat Al Firdous!