Monday, 15 June 2015

The Mind

Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmtullahi Wa Barakatuh,

I wasn't going to post this on this blog as it is more in line with the topics, themes or whatever of the other blog I am an author of, (infinite vestige) however I feel it has some wisdom( you may call it that?) and hopefully will be useful to others so I will share here, feel free to comment!

Soul series
Soul finder number two
Well soul finder number one was a walk in the park right? Literally! 💛😂. Number two, although it was hard to find and I wasn't sure when I actually found it. I think I might have found it. It's not so obvious and these are in no particular order or even in importance. But number two is about the mind. It's about controlling the mind, training the mind, loving the mind. Nurturing it to be beautiful. Although I would like to say I'm a beautiful being, truth is, I'm not. But with time I can become one. It starts with fixing my faults. Pulling myself back when I want to do things that are a bit too wild. I've realised this over the past few months, like a month or two ago, on impulse I got my eyebrow pierced. It was wild, wacky and down right crazy. I thought it was part of my teenage years, living my 'life' to the extreme, shows how smart I am right? 

I have now closed the hole. I suppose it allowed me to realise what I want, if I want it, how it makes me feel and so on. It was an experience. I'd say. I often do things on impulse, people who know me would definitely describe me as impulsive. My problem is, I don't think things through, I just do them. The eyebrow thing is one example but I've had these problems in the past with dressing, relationships, my hair and so on, although I don't believe impulsiveness is always a bad thing, I do believe too much of it would only push me into real big problems that may end being too difficult to get out of. I acknowledge it's a part of myself, which I've come to appreciate (loving the mind) but I've always learnt I need to curb it sometimes too, like the piercing. Not only this but my ideals of what a teenager is, and what 'FUN' is. Oh my, that word fun, has come to hate me over the past few months. I suppose it's all about loving what Allah loves and hating what Allah hates. Like the quote, you may love a thing and it is bad for you, yet you may hate a thing while it is good for you, or so I've heard, somewhere along thos lines. 

I thought i had grown up a lot, but I realise I still have a lot more to go. I know that my end is only going to be good if I follow Islam properly and it will only lead me to chaos if I don't. So as I said,my soul finder number two, is about my mind. Conditioning my mind to understand Islam and the life I am meant to live. 


Sunday, 14 June 2015

Shes my little sister

I think when you take a look at my little sister she seems so mature, so grown up, so aware. But you forget she's still small, she has no idea about the world, and it's corruption. Most importantly the influence friends can have on you. When you're young you're still confused about what's right and what's wrong, you want to explore and discover the world, you want to be older. But you can't, because you're not ready. No way near.

Today my sister was found to be doing something wrong, when confronted she cried. She usually cries so this was not shocking to me, especially because kids usually cry when found to be doing something they shouldn't of. What made me realise how vulnerable and small she really is, is when I spoke to her about what had happened. I asked her why. I asked how. And I asked what she thought now. Her response was so innocent it made me realise how bad she felt. She insisted it was her friend who had told her, and all my previous views of how mature and adult like she was didn't completely disappear but it allowed me to realise she's still young. She didn't eat anything as she felt too bad to eat- this also made me realise what true guilt is, when you honestly feel as though the world is caving in on you and you regret your mistake so badly you would do anything to change it.

That was what she felt. My heart went out to her, as I knew she was regretful. When I first found out my instant reaction was not anger, it was why. I wanted to know, if she was curious, if she came across it...I never thought even as a child that anger solved anything. Sure she should feel guilt and know it's wrong. But anger never solves anything. 

I'm so glad in a way that I was able to help her in this problem. I remember as a child being confused as why I was shouted at for doing things wrong instead of explaining why. Instead of being able to talk to someone without dying of fear. I feel like in today's society it is far more important for a child to talk to someone rather than having fear of someone, although fear is good it isn't always good. I pray Allah protects her from the evils of this world and help her to grow up a pious young woman.