An addiction... It's so weird to think of addictions for me I always think of drug addicts or smokers but it can be anything from chocolate to makeup.
We all have addictions at some point. One time I was addicted to reading, all I would do is read. Literally when I woke up I would read- from fantasy to adventure. I loved reading then I had another addiction it was playing games. Again every day I played games on the laptop or TV (back when people played sky games) and then when I was in college I was addicted to studying I loved studying so I'd be studying all the time. Now I've come to a point where shopping is an addiction I mean I have had a shopping phase during college too but now that I don't have studying to distract me I suppose I'm consumed by materialism. I know it's not good I buy unnecessary clothing, coats, shoes and somehow I expect it to make me feel better but it doesn't. I've also started buying make up different colour lipsticks, your highlighter, contour, primer and all that shabang. It's hard to stop it really is. I like dressing up nicely and looking funky. I know I need to stop but addictions are hard to beat and harder to let go because somewhere you think it makes you happy even though it doesn't. You become so accustomed to it it's like a part of you- you want it to fill the emptiness but it doesn't.
Instead it plunges you down into more misery realising it doesn't. I know there are make up artists or make up lovers who probably think well it doesn't make me miserable! And yeah if you like make up that's cool I'm not slaying it I'm saying for me personally I'm not a makeup addict or a shopping addict & it always feels misplaced if I become one.
I'm trying to figure out what's going on with me and how I'm going to beat my addiction. As part of an addiction you tend to think 'I'll stop just after this one last time this one last buy I'll have everything anyway I won't need to buy anymore' it's a horrible mentality and I want to kick it so bad.
I can safely say that this addiction is rooted in my low self esteem and poor image of myself. I suppose in a way I want appreciation or is admiration? Who knows- most of the time I'm still trying to figure out who I am. Anyway the point is whatever your addiction is mainly for girls (makeup and clothes) you first need to accept its an addiction. And you should probably also clarify on whether you think it's good or bad for you now what I mean by that is , someone who has a passion for makeup would want to buy lots of makeup it may be an addiction but they want it so it's not bad I suppose. But if you feel like it's not really you or you think it's bad in someway you may need to sort your thoughts on it.
It may also help to talk about it with someone close to you a friend or relative about what they think- if it's bad or good whether or not it's an addiction. Sometimes you can't always tell if it's an addiction or not so may you need an outsider view. It may also be good to reflect on the more core issues to this addiction- why are you addicted? Other than the fact that it's nice - does it make you feel a certain way etc.?
Once you've found out those issues then you can work on them to slowly start kicking it off.
This doesn't stop here, because I've still got this addiction I'm going to write tips when I've managed to let go so we can be on the journey together.
Wednesday, 7 October 2015
I have always felt a little bit strange and over time I thought I'd materialise into a normal person like everyone else. But as time went on I never did become that person I thought I'd naturally become.
Being different I realised is not bad- wha I'm trying to do is embrace who I am and not resent myself. In Islam issues like anxiety and depression is recognised, mental health does exist, there was a time I believed it didn't but only until I developed problems did I realise how important it is to address them. Islam does have remedies but that doesn't mean professional help can't be used- so long as it's not the sole reliance or comprising religion.
Most of the time I find it's good to seek advise from those similar to you or even reading about those that are similar to you. It helps to know that there others out there like yourself.
As well as engaging in activities that you enjoy- developing positive aspects of yourself in order to avoid resentment.
You should also seek support from family and friends and it helps to talk about it either by writing it down or videoing it. I usually video it because I can watch it again to find out how I was feeling. I might also recommend trying out free NH S therapy which can be effective as there as forum and workshops you can join as well as access to therapy sessions.
I'm really sorry I actually haven't gotten any other writing material other than advise for mental health. I'm trying to find more issues to talk about please forgive me !!