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Showing posts from September, 2016

Confidence

I didn't know starting university would be such a life changer. Maybe for any other normal young adult it wouldn't have been. But you know me, I'm not a 'normal' young adult.Ive never been even remotely confident but since starting university ive become more confident. The only thing I can think of is 1) im surrounded by confident people 2) i can deal with stress better( for the last year my sister was under a lot of stress and pressure- all the advice i gave to her, ive been using BUT i have also witnessed how she dealt with stress which impacted how i would deal with my own)3) ive stopped worrying as in i dont allow myself to think too much The biggest thing is being able to deal with stress if you can master that i honestly think youll have an easier time developing confidence.

Cross roads

Its a sad truth that I have to face and that is I have jitters from coffee. I think the reason is because I had super strong coffee in a small mug with a tiny amount of milk. This jittery feeling has reminded me of another sad reality.The sad reality is that there are times in my life when I feel ashamed or dismissive about Islam. I feel like there are times when i dont want to be reminded about Islam. I do desire to be peaceful in my religion, but right now i feel like i am not worthy because of how neglectful i am. Because of all the dismissive thoughts i have. How i feel like Islam makes everything serious and i long for a carefree life with my delusions in a fantasy world with wizards and werewolves. These jitters make me feel even worse. Its like a drug you know if you have too much strong coffee.Im sorry. I dont know who to. To God, to myself. I dont know whats going on. I just know I am in between cross roads. Crossroads with myself, with my thoughts. I am sorry. Its this darn …