When I was young I always had fun. I always had fun because of you, Dad. We would all visit London on Eid, going to tower hamlets for wings or green street for the famous kebabs. We were young and we didn't know much but you made it fun.
I would play with your hair and pick out gray hairs you would give me a pound for pulling out lots of gray hairs. You would buy me toys and we would all visit felixstowe beach and Clacton. You did a good job Dad. You made our childhood happy, filling it with outings and family visits, we had fun.
When we moved to London, it stopped. It seemed like you were busy with work and maybe we all forgot the love you showed us when we were young. Love is not the same for everyone. Stress and pressure make a person different. Difficult. I'm sorry I didn't understand better. I'm sorry you thought we didn't love you. I'm sorry you were annoyed at how we would avoid you. I'm sorry Dad.
We didn't understand your temperament. You had a lot going on and we didn't understand. I love you, Dad. You tried your best in everything and you showed me how to work hard. You never gave up. You were strong and courageous more brave than I. I always looked at you and thought my dad is so confident. And he doesn't even know English properly.
I want to be confident like you Dad. I'm glad you were proud that I was becoming a nurse. I'm sorry you worked so hard all your life and you never got to rest. You never had your retirement which you deserved. I'm sorry you never got to go back home and rest. I'm sorry you never got to enjoy your life properly.
I know you were a good man. There were things that everyone has done, that make us bad people. But we are not bad souls. I pray your soul is happy. I pray your soul finds peace in the grave and the grave is wide and filled with light. I pray your Allah forgives you of all of your sins. I love you so much Dad, I know I never showed it, but I did.
From your loving Daughter