Skip to main content

Capturing my heart

I've been watching 13 reasons why on Netflix. It's been an interesting journey of suicidal thoughts and the teenage angst in high school. I feel enlightened to a certain degree (bearing in mind it is for entertainment) I feel like the message Hannah passes on to Clay is very similar to the one Virginia Woolf wrote to her husband before she committed suicide. I can't help but feel there's so much tragic beauty to these notes, so much beautiful poetry. I've always said there's so much beauty to sadness. 

      But you need to be here if I’m going to tell           my story. If I’m going to explain why I did what I did. Because you aren’t every other guy — you’re different. You’re good. And kind. And decent. And I didn’t deserve to be with someone like you. I never would. I would’ve ruined you. It was me and everything that’s happened to me."

(13 reasons why: Hannah's message to Clay )

       Dearest,

       You have given me the greatest possible            happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.

I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do

I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.

(Virginia Woolf's Suicide letter)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The most important daily habit

 Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,  After a very long time I came across my blog once again and I decided I wanted to write something that I hope will benefit you inshaAllah.   I have found memorizing quran to be something I consistently struggle with mainly keeping a habit of it. Here are some tips I have found that helped me to make progress in my memorisation.   1. Think about the importance of the Quran, we know as muslims it is divine guidance so why would we not want to read and memorise it? The more we memorise the more we can use in our salah which should also help with our khushoo too inshaAllah.  This particularly helps if you are falling short of doing it daily, I know I have slacked and completely stopped memorizing for a while but when I really think about how important it is I make it a priority to do it.  2. Set a daily timer for it, build up to 30mins maybe start with 10mins the point is to be consistent as we know the consistent actions are the most beloved
Post a Comment
Read more

Delay

Apologies for delay in posting, been having a struggle within myself. Will post an article soon or something else, please forgive me. 
2 comments
Read more

I'm changing

I'm beginning to see that it's not that hard to change, well it is and it isn't.. What I mean is, comparing myself a couple of months ago and now, a lot has changed in terms of my mentality and my positivity. But I cannot say it was easy, at first even I was stumped at how I did it. Because I had tried(as you know) many times to become closer to God and failed on numerous occasions ( in my eyes) but alhamdulilah alhamdulilah I've been getting closer to it than ever before, and I realised its a lot to do with my actual faith in God not only do I need tawaqul (rememberance) of God but I also need to do this in action. And this. This is so important I think I forgot the different/the line/ the actuality of the situation I kept confusing my laziness, etc. and so on with my own personality and every time I did something I myself didn't approve of I wouldn't correct myself which in the past I would, it's so important to mould the Islamic personality to whatever de
Post a Comment
Read more